The 30-Year-Old Virgin

The first time at Augusta is always special.

By Jake Kubié

This year I was lucky enough to make my first visit to Augusta National. While most headlines about the Masters have confronted the several controversies that arose throughout the week—Guan’s penalty, Tiger’s penalty, Scott’s long putter, etc.—I’m going to take the Magnolia-lined high road and share a few thoughts about the course and overall experience.

First, for those of you who haven’t been there, Augusta (the city) is not a pretty place. Augusta National is a 350-acre diamond embedded in deep rough. Imagine Castle Pines in Commerce City surrounded by 15-foot hedges. On your way to the front gate you get hit up by ticket scalpers and merchants selling cheap knock-off posters at an insane price. The only thing visible from Washington Road is a small whitewashed sign that reads “Augusta National Golf Club: Members Only” and a small cutout that opens to Magnolia Lane, the lone artery that connects the outside world to golf’s American heart.

Once you enter the Disney-style gates Augusta melts away. You walk by arguably the greatest most well-planned practice facility ever conceived, past a merchandise center that sells everything from the ubiquitous golf shirts, hats, chairs and umbrellas to watches, mugs and pens (rumor has it the Masters sold more than $30 million in merchandise this year) and into a vast open field of manicured perfection.

The course is flawless. It feels like a sound stage on a movie set where every single item and feature has been placed so perfectly and intentionally. Television doesn’t get close to showing its expansiveness and hilliness. Each hole is celebrity–even more than some of the contestants–from years of watching every tournament and flyover and hearing the golf pundits talk design and strategy and how Tiger would play each hole. Walking Augusta National is like meeting your 18 favorite actors and athletes all in one day.

We chose to set chairs on the par-five 15th and come back in the afternoon to watch the last eight groups make start their Saturday charge down the homestretch (you just leave your foldout chair in a spot and it’s there when you return). Of course I made sure to spend time on Amen Corner and watched tee shots on the par-three 16th. I saw Rory land his approach in the water only the hurl his second ball into the lake after making bogey. I saw Tiger lip out an eagle attempt on the same hole that might have cost him the whole tournament (between nailing the pin and the ensuing penalty) the day before.

Another highlight are the concessions. I don’t mind telling you that I had four sandwiches (pimento cheese, egg salad, chicken and BBQ) and four beers (choices comes in light, domestic or import). Total cost: $21.

The Masters has had 77 years to perfect the course and the tournament and those seven-plus decades of tweaking and polishing shows in the overall experience.

Greenkeepers may justifiably grumble about the “Augusta Effect” on maintenance expectations at their home courses. But thanks to an unlimited budget, Augusta National is even more lush, beautiful and memorable than it appears on HDTV.
The effect on me was unforgettable.

 

Colorado AvidGolfer is the state’s leading resource for golf and the lifestyle that surrounds it. It publishes eight issues annually and proudly delivers daily content via www.coloradoavidgolfer.com.